Who among us hasn't eaten another wing when he's already full? A man can value controlling his weight--but also value tasty food, says Paul Rose, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville. "He can't fulfill both values," Rose says, "so he feels stressed." Here's how to control inner conflicts.

LYING

Most people lie to appear likable and competent, according to a study at the University of Mass-achusetts. The study revealed that 60 percent of people lied at least once in a 10-minute conversation.

Take control: Remind yourself that self-enhancing lies come across as boasting. "Modesty is often the best policy when you're trying to impress," says study author Robert S. Feldman, Ph.D. Don't fib at work-- give realistic goals, and follow through.

SPENDING

Shopping floods the brain with dopamine to produce a high. But the pleasure is about anticipation, so the feeling quickly fades, says Gregory Berns, M.D., Ph.D., a neuroscientist at Emory University.

Take control: Trigger happiness by focusing on new experiences, not new things--the effect will last longer. Or divert your impulse: A study found that people who spent a small amount on others were happier than those who spent on themselves.

LASHING OUT

Staying focused is hard when you're angry, says Sarah Fischer, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. Insults are counterproductive and can cause irreversible damage.

Take control: Rehearse confrontations at home. Work yourself up as you rehearse, Fischer says. "Your brain can pull up that script even when it's overloaded with emotion." But relax afterward to avoid an anger meltdown.

OVEREATING

Anger, anxiety, and sadness can trigger overeating, says Janet Polivy, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto at Mississauga.  Comfort foods may make you feel better briefly, but anxiety and guilt come back with a vengeance.

Take control: If your mood is down, stay away from food. "Change your mood by doing something you enjoy," Polivy says. Eat at set times so mood swings don't create mealtimes.

PARTYING

"When I drink, I relax" is a rationale often learned from parents or TV, says Fischer. Alcohol can become a way to fill an emotional void, or at least forget about it temporarily.

Take control: Make yourself wait 20 minutes between drinks. You're not denying yourself, which can lead to bingeing, and you can use the time to ask yourself, Am I angry or upset? says Fischer. If you are, consider leaving to do something that calms you down.

Originally published on September 2008

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